From a certain point of view

Many of us remember that famous line in the Star Wars Trilogy where Obi Wan Kenobi is justifying lying to Luke about his father and says, "So what I told you was true, from a certain point of view." I think must of us felt a slight tinge of conscience and had a shy smile because Obi Wan's actions were not far from our own.

I recently watched the movie Vantage Point. The movie is not on my top ten list, but it offers an interesting perspective, or multiple perspectives on the key events in the film. It reminds us that at any given time we may be missing valuable pieces of information that can have a significant impact on the truth. That particular truth scares me. I am weak, fallable and at times just plain lazy. When it comes to the everyday mundane aspects of life being 60% accurate, or 75% accurate is probably alright, but we all know instances where miscalculations have cost people there lives (misjudging an amber light at the intersection, or the strength of the tide at the beach).

What about our spiritual lives? Is someone's opinion on a matter sufficient for how I live my life? Can I afford to entrust my eternal well-being on the scholarship (or lack of scholarship) of someone else? I was reminded recently that we all have different opinions on certain topics. Some of those opinions are studied and well-researched, others are the result of emotion, or people just "shooting from the hip." It really doesn't matter whether someone else's approach to eternal matters is well-studied or not, what matters is how I arrive at truth.

When the day comes that I finally dance off this celestial globe and step onto eternity's shore, God isn't going to ask me what the priest or pastor thought I should be doing. He isn't going to care what the teacher had to say in my Bible class - ultimately I am going to be asked what I did with the information and instructions he left for ME.

Maybe I am just a little too bold, or too arrogant, but I think in most cases I can figure things out for myself. The Bible isn't all that difficult to understand if we read it in context and with an open heart and mind. We tend to get weighted down in the small details and miss the big picture. What are we doing about the love of Christ, the sacrifice for our sins, and our responsibilities to our fellow man? We can spend hours debating Paul's thorn in the flesh, or hours serving our fellow man?

Do yourself a favor today. Read something out of the Bible and find some positive application in your own life. That will do more to make you the man or woman you want to be than all the opinions in the world - of course that is just my point of view.

Judges 2

Driven from the fold

This may be one of the more controversial and challenging blogs I have written in a long time. Most people who know me would probably use the term "mainstream" if they were trying to pigeon hole me into some segment of the religious world. I am not particularlly fond of labels and with each passing year there is but one standard I want to be measured by - whether my beliefs are Biblical.

I have had a lot of interactions through the years with people who have "left the church." Some abandon organized religion all-together, others leave simply seeking to conform their faith to their lifestyle (rather than conforming their life to the image of Christ, Rom. 12:1, 2). Sadly, however there is some truth in those who feel they were "driven from the fold," by some well-meaning brother or sister who choose to impose their own set of laws and regulations on a weaker brother.

Now if your dander is starting to stand up on your neck, or you are questioning my "mainstream" theology; let me offer this disclaimer (and I so hate having to do this, but there are those who will attribute to me some agenda other than desiring that Christians help one another get to heaven):

• First, I am not talking about people who leave because they don't want to listen to sound doctrine.
• Second, I do believe that people still have a personal responsibility to God, even if their brethren don't behave properly towards them.
• Finally, those who would cause there brother to stumble need to examine themselves just as thoroughly as they examine the lives of their errant brothers and sisters they are so quick to correct.

All that being said, I am just bone-tired of people who seem to think their bible-knowledge, or righteous indignation gives them liberty to speak to others, or about others in a harsh, derogatory or detrimental way. Being RIGHT is not a license for being rude. Knowing TRUTH does not give us permission to wield our sword of faith with undiscerning vigor. There are Bible warnings to the faithful on how to deal with those around us:

"But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. For if anyone sees you who have knowledge of eating in an idol's temple, will he not be encouraged, if his conscience is weak, to eat food offered to idolds. And so by your knowledge this weak person is destroyed, the brother for who Christ died. Thus, sinning against your brothers and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ" (I Cor. 8:9-12)

"Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgressions, you who are spiritual should restore them in a spirt of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted." (Gal. 6:1, 2)

The burden in both of these passages is on the "stronger" to set the example, exercise the proper Christian grace, and to even keep watch on themselves. In 30 years of ministry I have had to clean up a lot of messes that were caused simply because someone who wears the name of Christ did not have the discernment or good sense to conduct themselves in a loving, godly manner. If we truly count ourselves to be "stronger" then let's act like it.

Wake Up its almost 2012

This morning I had the opportunity to get away and visit a sister church in the area. It turned out to be an interesting Sunday to be a visitor - the congregation had a "State of the Church" message. What I thought would be a boring report, was actually an enlightening revelation. Here are a few things I took from this morning's worship:

1. There is something special that happens when a church looks honestly at its successes and failures and then shares those insights openly. I learned more in 45 minutes about this church than you can often gain from sitting in a pew for months. Not only did they share their victories, the oustanding mission work they are doing and the community outreach, but they talked plainly about their struggle with small groups, getting people to volunteer and the low numbers of folks actively serving.

The successes were offered in a meek and humble fashion and their failures where not critical or indictments of anyone, just an honest assesment with a prayer that they might better serve in 2012.

2. I was struck by the use of Revelation 3:1, 2 - "you have a reputation that you are alive, but you are dead." A stunning indictment of the church at Sardis, but this congregation had the courage to ask the tough question, "are we living off our reputation, of the good we have done in the past, or are we continuing to labor to be a leaven and salt in our community." I am reminded of what Paul wrote to the Ephesians, "Awake, O Sleeper and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine in you." (Eph. 5:14).

3. Finally, the leadership spelled out their vision and goals for 2012. Outreach, lost souls, making a difference in the community. This was a church that was looking forward and outward, not inward. They realized that the Lord's work is never done.

Judges - Intro

Our Daily Bread

When Jesus was giving instruction on prayer, one of the phrases I believe we take for granted is "Give us today our daily bread" (Matthew 6:12). For many years I considered this a figure of speech until I began to work in countries where families didn't just pray for their daily bread, they begged for it.

I am more and more convinced that we have taken the really challenging teachings of Jesus and watered them down so we won't feel bad in our bloated western culture. We have so much food in our house that we have a special pantry in our garage to handle the overflow. At least we were honest enough to give it an appropriate acronym - the PIG (Pantry In the Garage).

This past week I was reading the story of the Exodus when a stunning, yet simple realization came over me. God's people, a nation of three to five million were dependent upon God on a daily basis. Listen to what the text says in Exodus 16, "I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions. On the sixth day they are to prepare what they bring in, and that is to be twice as much as they gather the other days" (v. 4, 5).

God was going to test his people to see if they trusted Him to provide for them daily. Those who trusted always found there was sufficient food. Those who lacked faith had their bread filled with maggots and had to deal with the stench of disobedience.

The lesson for the Israelites should not be lost on us. God still demands that we walk daily by faith and that includes our material posessions. Look forward a few verses in Matthew 6 and consider what Jesus says, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (vs. 19-21). Do you really think it is a coincidence that Jesus teachings are similar to those of God in the wilderness? Store up treasures for yourself here on earth and they too will will suffer corruption.

Give us this day, our daily bread - a figure of speech?  I think not! It is time for each of us to return to a daily dependence on God.

For my children . . .

What  would you sacrifice for your children? I have been guilty of the same platitudes that we all engage in at times (i.e. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for my children). I know I have said that more than once, but sadly, the truth is that I haven't always lived it. If I truly would do anything for the good of my children, I would have:

•  been a better example to them in life and conduct.
• I would have set higher standards for them to live by.
• I would have set aside my own interests if I knew it was for their good.
• I would have been more careful about thier friendships and the influences I allowed in tieir lives.

What is the old saying, "Hindsight is 20-20." It sure would be nice at times to go back knowing what I know today. I remember an older lady who took me aside when I was a new father and gave me some really good advice about raising children, just two or three simple instructions that guided a lot of my philosophy through the years. At times other more mature individuals added to those teachings and in almost every case it was good advice (mostly because they were lessons they learned by experience).

We all would change things if we had the opportunity to go back in time, but if I had one thing to change and one thing only it would be this - I would seek the counsel of those who had raised faithful, dedicated Christian children. Experience is a great teacher, but who says we have to learn from our own experiences (or even our own mistakes). I often plead with my children to learn from my mistakes, don't repeat them.

So to parents everywhere, especially those of you who truly love your children - seek the counsel of older, wiser and more experienced Christian parents. They have so much to offer and most of them are simply waiting to be asked.

When prayer falters and doubts ensue . . .

Most of you who read my blog know that I am an optimist - sometimes even to the point of being irritating. Most days I can overcome any obstacle thrown in my path, or put a positive spin on a lousy day. I am convinced that working in regions of the world where there is hunger, want and extreme poverty has a lot to do with being thankful for even the simplest things.

All that being said, where does the optimist go when he is having a really bad day? How do I muddle through when my prayer life feels weak and doubts are swirling all around? For most of my life this is pretty unfamiliar territory. That makes it that much harder when I have those moments of extreme weakness and doubt. I really don't exercise those spiritual muscles very often.

I share these thoughts with the world because I know I am not the only one who has these struggles. I learned a number of years ago that transparency not only brings about personal healing, but it encourages others to fight on. I am weak, sinful, and sometimes just a walking contradiction looking for some clarity.

So here I sit asking God for answers to some really hard questions in life and wondering what answers will come - if any (told you I had some doubts). He must really get tired of all those WHY questions we ask. Why is this happening to me? Why is life so unfair? Why don't you do something with this crazy mixed up world we live in?

There are no answers in tonight's blog. No placebo's to get you through a trying day. No five point plan to a successful life. Just a fellow pilgrim on a long and winding journey wondering what tomorrow will bring.

Insights into human nature

I love to watch people. I don't mind going to the mall with my wife because I can just sit in the walkways and watch people pass. While it is interesting to see how couples go together (or at times wonder why they are together), the real entertainment comes in watching how people interact with one another.

Every day we give people insights to our character. It may how we react to a difficult situation, or something as simple as a comment we make about a television show. We often reveal our values without even being aware that we are doing so. This morning Fox News was doing a story on how men and women appear more intelligent the more modestly they are dressed. During segment the camera's where showing pictures of scantily clad women when one of the male reporters literally lost his train of thought. Amusing as it was, it was also revealing (no pun intended).

What do we communicate by the heroes or heroins we choose to immulate? What does our casual conversation tell other people about the things we value? How much time do we spend defending positions that are indefensable? We spend a good amount of our time communicate thoughts, ideas and belief systems without ever realizing the message we send to others. The real tragedy is that we communicate those messages because our value systems are all out of whack.

Roadmap to Success

The best advice I ever recieved was from a dear friend who shared his secrets to success. At the end of each year he would evaluate each area of his business model to determine what was productive. After a careful review he would take the bottom 20% and remove it from his business plan for the coming year. It wasn't always that these areas were unproductive - they simply were the least productive areas of his business. Once that was accomplished he looked over new opportunities and selected what he believed where the best areas to add to his existing plan. Over a period of a few years my friend went from owing over six-figures to the IRS to being, well let's say - VERY COMFORTABLE.

Now it is time for me to take the same approach, not only to my business, but to my life. At age 52 I have become much more interested in the quality of life than I am the quanitity of things I can acquire. So as I look forward to 2012 I have to stop and ask myself what areas of my life are bringing me the most joy, and which areas are just taking wasted space in my day. These may sound trite and obvious - but it is amzing how quickly I can lose sight of my priorities and get caught up in the mundane.

Most Productive:

• Time spent in Bible Study & Prayer
• Time spent with my family
• Time spent with friends and loved ones
• Time spent in forwarding the mission of African Christian Schools
• Focusing on diet an:d exercise

Least Productive:

• Watching Television
• Playing on Facebook
• Playing Angry Birds
• Worrying over things that won't make a lick of difference 50 years from now.

Things to incorporate into the coming year:

• More time writing my blogs & books
• More time spent in exercise
• More time spent in reading good books that will improve my mind.

It all sounds really profound as I sit here on the first of November mulling over the past and making plans for the future, but it is amazingly difficult to implement. Plans are wonderful, goals are essential but EXECUTION is the key to success. So now I start the painful process of trying to execute my plans for Roadmap for 2012 - how about you join me for the ride?

The Gulf Between

I have lost count of how many times I have given myself some of the following advice:

• Don't give other people control your emotions.
• Make a choice to be happy regardless of the circumstances.
• Live pro-actively (i.e. make affirmative choices on how to live your life, not reactionary ones).

I know that ultimately I have to take responsibility for my feelings, emotions, frustrations and the degree to which I allow others to influence me. When I am tired or frustrated with those close to me I can choose not to carry that burden, or I can feed those aweful demons of bitterness, anger and hate. I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO, so why is it so hard.

There is a great gulf between our intellectual understanding of a principle and our ability to live it. Not a day goes by that I don't try cross that vast ocean of hard decisions to land on that peaceful shore of pro-active living. Despite my best efforts, I still allow others to capsize my little ship and leave me flailing in the waters of bitterness and discontent.

So how do we navigate through those tricky waters. Isolation won't work because most of us couldn't stand to live alone. Retaliation doesn't work - it only causes the tempest to grow more severe and dangerous. Apathy doesn't work unless we enjoy drifting blinding across the oceans of life with no course or destination.

CHOICES - just our personal choices. That may sound over-simplified, but we choose our attitudes, emotions and which feelings we surrender to. I want to blame someone, I want others to feel responsible because I feel bad - doesn't work. At least todayI am choosing to sail confidently through troubled waters and find contenment that I can still navigate my ship though storms raise up around me.

The Blacksmith's Blow

"A piece of iron can only become what the blacksmith decides it to be." Nigeria

I cannot begin to count the number of times I felt the blows of the blacksmith's hammer as He has tried to shape this twisted piece of iron into a useful tool of service. Each time the steel grows cold I am thrust back into the furnace of affliction as the hot coals purge the impurities and dross from the metal of a man I am becoming.

How foolish to resist the blacksmith's hand - to war against the purpose the master craftsman has designed. Each edge is sharpened by the hammer's blows and every imperfection is tried time and again in the fire.

I am left with a choice: to remain brittle and unpliable forcing the blacksmith to cast me aside in a pile of scrap iron; or to allow Him to mold me and shape me into a purposeful instrument, a sharpened sword, or plow. Only the blacksmith knows what this shapeless piece of iron is destined to become.

"You cannot hide the smoke of the hut you set on fire." (Burundi Proverb).

For the next series of blogs, I plan to center my thoughts on some African Proverbs I have been introduced to. While I was in Namibia this last year some of the locals used figures of speech and idioms that often made me smile. Upon returning to the states, one of our board members used a series of African Proverbs to lead our devotional at the August board meeting. Now it is my turn to share a few with you.

You cannot hide the smoke of the hut you set on fire, or in Biblical terms - "be sure your sins will find you out." I was recently reminded of just how transparent our lives really are when we stop long enough to take inventory. I was recently doing a little "sluething" on the internet and was shocked by some of the things that people allow to be posted online. Some people don't care, others simply don't stop to consider the consequences of their conduct.

Regardless of how carefully we try to cover our tracks - eventually someone will see the smoke from our burning hut. I can only imagine how King David felt when the prophet told him the story of ewe lamb. Outraged and indignant it must have been quite humbling when Nathan said, "You are that man."

When your weary . . .

I try not to make important decisions when I am weary! I have found that things are rarely as bad as they seem when you are over-tired and worn down, and things are rarely as great as they appear when you are on an emotional high.

I doesn't really matter what the circumstances are - it always better to ACT with a clear head. There are few decisions in life that require immediate attention (despite what a client, child or even the IRS might tell you). We often speak of time as our enemy, but time can be a great allie when used effectively.

One of the things I love about traveling to Africa is the pace of life. Everything seems to slow down. This irritates a lot of my American friends when I take them over, but I encourage them, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." When you want to eat - food has to be prepared (from scratch). Fish have to be cleaned, eggs have to be gathered, bread has to be baked - so you learn to wait.

Today I am tired. Not sleepy, tired. I have a lot to get done this week, but I also realize my most effective work will not be accomplished just because I sit down at a computer and begin putting words on a page. So rather than produce a sub-par product, today I will organize my work load for the week, outline the articles for the newsletter and prepare myself for a period of peak efficiency later today.

Every day brings us a different challenge to address. Learning how to manage our bodies, our moods and our responsibilities will help us achieve a higher standard of productivity.

Legacy

On Sunday we started a series at church on Legacy. What is it we hope to leave behind? At times I struggle with pursuing the trappings of a successful life and miss the real substance of what it means to "leave a legacy." I may shout and rage against the machine, materialism and injustice in this world, but the truth is I like my creature comforts and parting with them is often harder than talking about parting with them.

I was reminded this morning just how important those daily acts and teachable moments are in our lives. I was scanning my children's facebook pages when I ran across a thread on my son's page. The conversation went something like this:

Gina: "What was that quote you said your dad was always telling you? You can't always have what you want, but you can always do what is right?"

Tristan: My dad used to say, "I can't always feel the way I am supposed to feel, but I can always act the way I am supposed to act."

So I sit here this morning with a little pride, a little self-satisfaction, but mostly with a strong reminder that our children are listening. It may not all sink in! It may take decades for some of it to bubble to the top, but they are learning something from us. They will learn from our negative behaviors and our positive examples, but any way you look at it - we are leaving a legacy.

I get down on myself a lot in areas I feel I have failed as a parent, a husband and a friend to others, but little moments like the one I experienced this morning remind me that someone is always watching and someone is always listening.

So, what is your legacy going to?

Do you know me?

I realize that our influence is important, that at times we have to stop and consider the impact our actions have on other people. I also know that we can't and shouldn't live our lives based on the endless scrutiny of those around us. There will always be others who disapprove of our choices and actions. The key is to "live in good conscience before all men."

Now I can't say that I have always lived in good conscience, or that I don't have any regrets for decisions I have made - I have plenty. I do however TRY to live life to the fullest and with the manner and character that sets a godly standard of behavior that others can see in my actions and behaviors.

All of that brings me to the point of this blog - DO YOU KNOW ME? What I mean by that is do you know me well enough to give me the benefit of the doubt when questions arise? Do you know me well enough to ask or inquire if you have a concern? Do you know me well enough to judge me based on a single comment, facebook post, or circumstance that seems uncharacteristic.

In the past week or so I have had two situations arise that made me question the public nature in which we live our lives (our pre-occupation with everyone's facebook pages),and  people's ability to quickly pass judgment on others. The first situation involved a distant acquaintance who, after looking over my daughter's facebook page (my daughter he has NO relationship with), decided she needed to be called in question over her interest in the Hogworts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. No she isn't a witch or sorcerer, but loves the Harry Potter books. The inquiry went beyond appropriate concern to an almost Pharisee-like pre-occupation with judging.

The second incident had to do with posting a facebook picture of me drinking Butter Beer (a creme soda) on my profile page. I was reminded that some people may not know that is a soft drink I am holding in the picture. So that raises the question, "Do you know me?" Are you willing to give me the benefit of the doubt?

I had a preacher friend who went in a bar looking for the wayward son of a church member. Now had you seen this man walking into the honky tonks and bars around Ft. Bragg, NC would you have judged him on what you saw, or given him the benfit of the doubt.

Lesson for the Day: "Let's be really, really careful on how we judge others!"

Where are your priorities?

This week our small group discussion centered on Mary & Martha (Luke 10:38-42). For those who grew up in church it is a familiar story, but for those who didn't here is my quick reader's digest version. Mary is sitting attentively at the feet of Jesus while Martha is upset because Mary won't help with the tasks that need to be completed. Martha is so upset she complains to Jesus only to be rebuked and told, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:41, 42).

Now, clearly the lesson has to do with making Jesus a priority in our lives, but the more I have mulled this over in my head, I realize that this less has some other applications that I desparately need in my life. The most important is how I let unimportant things crowd out important things. I have always enjoyed having lots of irons in the fire and different projects to work on. I may take on extra consulting work, decide to build something in the shop area of my garage, or just wash, wax and pamper my Honda Shadow.

All those things are fine till they start interfereing with the priorities that must stay at the top of my list - three in particular:

1. Focusing on my relationship with God. Spending time in prayer, bible study and meditation.
2. Making sure my family knows they are a priority. It is one thing for me to think I am making them a priority, another thing altogether if the "FEEL" like a priority.
3. Finally, my work with African Christian Schools. Not only does this put bread on my table, help those struggling on the continent of Africa, but it is closely linked to my first priority.

It is hard sometimes not to be a Martha and point my fingers at others and see their failures. I realize I must work on myself first, but it is also challenging when I see others neglecting the three or four most important priorities in their life because they are simply too busy, or as the ESV says, "anxious and troubled about many things."

O.K. I will start with myself and clean some of the less important items off my to do list, but I am challenging my friends, family and acquaintances to do the same. Here is my recommendation to get things back in balance:

• Take inventory of what is really important and focus on those things.
• Quit decieving yourself into thinking you can do it all - you are short-changing yourself and others in the process.
• Make those top two or three things your masterpiece. Focus on the quality and not the volume of your efforts.

Uncomplicated

Have you ever noticed that we tend to be our own worst enemies? I find that most of the stressors, challenges and struggles that suck the joy out of life are self-inflicted. That doesn't mean that other people don't contribute to  the challenges of everyday living, but even those relationships are often the results of choices I have made.

Here is my list of things that tend to complicate life - and maybe a few suggestions for simplifying.

1. STUFF- I could write columns and columns on this one area. What is the old saying, "We buy stuff we don't need to impress people we don't like with money we don't have." We buy it, we charge it, we covet it, then we have to care for it, protect it, fuss about it - until that day it becomes fodder for our garage sale - then will sell it for ten cents on the dollar.  The answer may seem like an verbal placibo, but simplify. The older I get, the less I want stuff and the more I want quiet, peace of mind and time for relaxation.
2. SHORT-TERM GRATIFICATION - It could be the ice cream sunday that I really shouldn't eat after a big meal at O'Charley's, or buying things on credit, to indulging myself by sleeping an extra hour when I should get up and go to the gym. We live in a "I want it now" generation and all too often we don't stop and ask ourselves the long-term impact of short-term gratification..
3. RELATIONSHIPS - Laura Schlessinger wrote a couple of books about the things people do to mess up their lives and a lot of it is relationship driven. I recall reading an interview with basketball great Grant Hill. As he was talking about the importance of character he said, "Even though my parents had to deal with people of questionable character in their work, they were never invited into our home. My parents wanted me to be exposed to people of character."   We make the decisions concerning the people who influence us, how they influence us and how much access they gain. It is easy to blame others for our circumstances, but if we look really deeply, how often have we given access to people who give us grief.  Make good choices people!
4. LEARN TO RELAX - Just read the story of Mary & Martha. Growing up my mother would jump up from the table and have to get the dishes cleared and things cleaned up rather than stop and enjoy her company. As she grew older she came realize the dishes can wait. Sometimes there is a fine line between being responsible and learning to relax, but in this ultra-busy world we live in I think we err on the side of "being responsible" all too often.

I only have today - therefore I am going to live it to the fullest, simplify where I can and enjoy the people God places in my life. So take a chill pill, relax a little and enjoy the goodness this world has to offer.

Truth: Speak it or Hear it.

A good friend posed a difficult question - "Is it more difficult to speak the truth, or to hear the truth."

Without trying to cop-out, my mind immediately races to all the variables that can arise in any given situation:

• Do I like or dislike the person? Whether giving or recieving wise counsel the relationship behind the action has a lot to do with receptiveness.
• Does the topic being addressed fall into a sensitive area? I am much more likely to recieve advice about losing 20 lbs than I am about my parenting skills or problems with my children. We all have areas where a natural defensiveness takes over.
• What the motives behind the instruction? If our goal is to "get our pound of flesh" or "even the score" the chances are we are undermining any opportunity at delivering or recieving a truthful, objective opinion.

All that being said, real maturity comes when we are able to disassociate the message from the messenger. I show the greatest level of responsible behavior when I try to objectively look at the information and determine it's validity (regardless of the source, or motives behind it).

As to the question at the start - is it more difficult to speak the truth, or recieve it? I can only speak for myself!  If you hit a sensitive cord, I am going to have a hard time hearing what is said. In speaking the truth to others - if it is someone I truly love and care for, the task becomes much, much more difficult.

Removing the Veil

I am often amazed at the personal issues people reveal on their social network pages. Facebook, Myspace and other platforms have added new meaning to the words "too much information," yet I find myself struggling with that question when I sit down to my blog. How much of my personal life do I share with others? When are my experiences beneficial to the growth and development of my readers and when are they just the ramblings of a man seeking a deeper understanding of life.

I was reading through some old journals this evening and ran across a lengthy entry I wrote when I was extremely discouraged with things in my personal life. I was actually a little rattled by the depth of despair that seemed evident in my words. I don't want to weigh you down with the entire 6 pages, but here is an excerpt:

"Help me to understand why the path to heaven leads me throught he gates of hell? How can my journey towards the light be shrouded in so much darkness? 'Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.'  Where did David find so much understanding? How could his faith be so great in the midst of tragic heartache? Thomas doubted! Job questioned! Peter even denied you - still they found themselves in you. Take me to your throne room and reveal to me your glory..."

I know that others experience the same feelings of euphoria and heartache, triumph and tragedy that I do. I write publicly in hopes that others might connect with those feelings and realize that we are never alone. Not only does God walk by our side, but many of our peers know our sorrows and long to hold our hands as we wander through the hard times and struggle in the darkness.

So back to my concerns. When do we remove the veil and reveal who we really are to those around us? Are my public rants of benefit to others, or are they simply an exercise in self-indulgence? I can't be sure, but tonight while I was reading the old entries one comforting thought came to light - these are gifts to my children. In my old journals they will see the old man as he really was - strong and courageous on somedays, weak and fallen on others. They will see the struggle, but hopefully they will see an unending pursuit towards "the prize of the high calling which is in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:14).

Going Home II

Fort Ponchartrain du Détroit was first founded in 1701 by some French missionaries. The city has a long history having been under the rule of three different countries (France, Britian and United States). When I return to my old home town I have different memories! Pine Knob Amphitheater, Joe Louis Arena, Tiger Stadium and Hines Park.

Monday I was bit overwhelmed by all the poverty and terrible impact our economy has had on Detroit, but being back in Michigan has also reminded me of all the good things I had growing up. While I drove around the old  city today listening to the classic oldies I heard growing up there was that eiree de javu feeling you get when things feel very familiar.

Coming home I am reminded at just how many friends I still have here. My parents retired and moved to Florida in 1978 and I haven't spent any significant time in the city for over 25 years - but I am still blessed with friends and memories. Walking into Villa Bakery and smelling the fresh bread, then sinking my teeth into their World Famous Pizza Bread was every bit as good as I remember. There was coffee at Dessert Oasis with friends from days past (I have been rebuked for referring to them as "old" friends). Add to that Sanders creme puffs with hot fudge, Tiger's games, and Detroit rock and roll and there is still so much good in this struggling old town.

Whether it is thinking about the poverty and struggles, or the blessings and joys of coming home, I know how blessed I am and thankful that God saw fit to reveal himself through the people and places I have experienced in my life.

Going Home

This past weekend I was having one of those deep, philosophical discussions with my kids when my son said, "Dad, I'm not surprised that people suffer in the world, but can't understand why I don't," or something along those lines. The point he was making had to do with how blessed he felt. Sometimes we get focused on all the things we don't have, and lose sight of all the good things God has given us.

This week I have had the opportunity of returning to my childhood home in Detroit, Michigan (well the western suburbs anyway). As I drove up Telegraph Road from Monroe, it was tragic to see so much of the old city boarded up. Businesses closed, buildings condemned and people struggling to put groceries on the table. It was heart-wrenching to drive through my old neighborhood and see the condition of the houses, and all the changes that had taken place since I was a child.

There were the normal things you experience when you try to "return home." The house looked smaller, the yard almost non-existent, and the houses in my old neighborhood seemed to be stacked one upon the other. These thing weren't near as troubling as seeing the neighborhood  all run down, houses condemned and the landmarks I remember taken over by urban sprawl. The real heartache came as I talked to friends from my past and heard troubling stories about people I grew up with. Friends who are now serving time in prison, others suffering years of unemployment, and some living below the poverty line. As I listened to the stories from my youth I was taken back to our conversation on Saturday and started to ask myself - "Why me? How did I get so lucky? Why should I be so blessed and others suffer so much?"  There are all the obvious answers, "good parents, hard work, a good education," but others had those same advantages.

The lesson of this week is gratitude and humility. When I want to grumble and complain, or think life is hard because of a leak in the bathroom, or the oxygen sensor in my car goes bad - someone just give me a good swift kick in the pants. Going home reminds me how hard my parents worked to give me something better, how blessed I am to have a good job and a great family, and what a great responsibility I have to remember those less fortunate and do what I can to contribute to good of all mankind.

Halfway to Happy

While relaxing at Starbucks this afternoon I was reading from my Kindle when I ran across a phrase that caught my attention. The author said that he was, "halfway to happy." You know how some phrases just resonate with you - this one struck a nerve. How many times has that statement been true for me? How often do we let some silly, little circumstance in life interrupt our happiness.

We have all heard that trite and overworked saying, "Life is a journey, not a destination," but few of us live like we believe it. How often do we postpone happiness thinking that someday we will arrive. "I can't wait for summer, or my tax return, or my new job, or the kids to go off to school, or the kids to come home from school." We trade the happiness that this very moment has to offer  in exchange for some fleeting ideal of what happiness is supposed to be  - we live "HALFWAY TO HAPPY.

The problem with living in HALFWAY is that we never arrive at our destination. Oh the tax return may come early, or the weather may warm up, but as soon as it does we start a new journey to HAPPYTOWN. We repeat the same cycle, but with new stuff waiting at our destination. Can't wait to retire, or my tennis match on Saturday, or my car to be paid off.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Today is a perfectly good day. It has 24 hours in it. It is loaded with opportunities, challenges, places to go, things to accomplish and the only thing that can ruin it is my state of mind. I am tired living halfway to happy - today I am reminded to embrace the journey. This is the day that the Lord has made - rejoice and be glad in it. (Pslams 118:24).

Leaving a Legacy

• David - a man after God's own heart.
• Peter - an apostle and elder in the church.
• Abraham - father of the faithful.
• Rahab - listed with the roll call of the faithful in Hebrews 11.

These may not be the first things you think about when these names come to mind, but I fear that many people give up on trying to leave a legacy because of some tragic event, or sin in their life. While these individuals all committed some pretty henious offenses - they also went on to live pretty signifcant and meaningful lives. They are often remembered for the good they did, even more than the wrongs they commtted.

David an adulterer and murderer. Peter denied Christ three times while use profane language. Abraham lied repeatedly and Rahab was a prostitute. These folks would not be on my short list of people to change the course of history and dramatically influence the lives generations yet unborn.

Too often we allow our past to hinder our future. Rather than transforming our mistakes and using them as motivation for good, we allow them to drag us down and cripple us. If a murderer and adulterer can be called, "a man after God's own heart," then there is still some hope that I cam make a difference.

There are places in my life I really messed things up. Words that I wish I could retrieve and behaviors that I am less than proud of - but none of those things has to handicap me for the future. I hear people say, "I just can't get over the mistakes of my past." Some will argue that others will not allow them to forget their failures, but the truth of the matter is that you have to take charge of your life and your legacy.

Here are 3 simple steps to turn your tragedy into triumph as you strive to move steadily forward:

1. Sincerely seek forgiveness for the mistakes or sins of your past. You can't move forward till you are honest with yourself.
2. Forgive yourself! You don't need that extra weight of guilt to carry around if you are trying to move forward.
3. Get Busy! If you want to leave a legacy, make a difference, change the world, then you need to start today. It can be small steps, but you can't sit idly by and wait for an epiphany to come.

In the mirror in my child's eyes.

It was a typical Sunday evening and I was standing in the back of the church building when, of all things, my posture was called into question. My wife said, "stop and look at yourself." Not quite sure where this discourse was heading I said the only reasonable thing I could, "what are you talking about?"  "You standing their with your hands on your hips - you son does the exact same thing."  Sure enough she was right, my odd way of standing had been adopted by my 6 year old son.

Some of the traits we pass on to our children are relatively harmless, while others are not. There is  no greater grief in my life than seeing my children adopt a negative behavior that I know they learned from me. Nothing brings me to my knees quicker, or humbles me more thoroughly than this.

This week I was competing in a tennis match when my opponent started to share some of his own heartaches about his children and grand-children. All in all he described 3 generations of addicts in his family. His conclusion was that his family was genetically pre-disposed to addictive behavior. I wanted to ask about the enviroment and pattern of behavior that had been prevelant in his family tree, but it wasn't the kind of discussion you had between points or at the change-over of sides.

Maybe there is some biological, or genetic tendency towards certain behaviors, but I am convinced that most of our behaviors are taught and learned. Our children are watching us, and waiting for us to lead them. They prefer we lead by example - that we demonstrate the qualities and characteristics we deem so important in their lives. There are however times when we must bridge the gap of our own sins and failings and demand that our children rise above the "sins of the father."

Sometimes it is hard to look in the mirror of my child's eyes. It reminds me of how much is at stake. Father give me strength to teach by word and example the lessons my children need to learn.

Push Ups & Porches

It was a beautiful day today.  Blue sky's, temperatures in the low 80's with a soft breeze blowing just enought to keep things cooled down. After a back and forth tennis match, a leisurely lunch on the patio at Tito's I decided it was time to brush the dust off Scarlett and take her for a ride.

Rides through the country always remind me of what a great job we do of complicating our lives. Overcrowded malls, cell phones, and simply putting too many things on our agenda to stop and enjoy life. Today I treated myself to a simple pleasure from my childhood.

I stopped at the Bethesda market. Just another small town market, except that it had a small game processing center. The coolest part of stopping for a few minutes was the extra long church pew sitting on the front porch and an orange push up I purchased for 49 cents.  That's Right - 49 cents for a push up.

So I sat on the porch enjoying my push up as the locals drifted in and out over the next 30 minutes. 7 pickup trucks, two ghetto cruisers and one "project car." By project car I mean a vehicle that looked like it was assembled at the Goodwill. Bumpers from one vehicle and quarter panels from another. There was a blue door and a red door with patches of bondo spread strategically along the sides.

I struggle with understanding why we make life so difficult. A lot of it has to do with "STUFF." We covet stuff, we work longer hours to accumulate stuff and then we have garage sales to get rid of stuff.  Just give me a push up and a peaceful Saturday afternoon and I am a happy man.

It's all about me

"It's all about me!" What are the first thoughts that come into your head when you hear that phrase. Is it the self-absorbed teenage girl depicted on most of today's sitcoms, or someone in your office who has the mistaken idea that they are at the center of the universe?

For just a minute I want to throw a positive spin on focusing on yourself. What if it's all about me = personal responsibility. If I want to get ahead in this world, make a difference, or leave a legacy then it's all about me. I can no longer blame my boss, my spouse or some cosmic forces in the universe for the bad things that happen, or my inability to transcend adversity.

Let me give you a simple example most of us can understand. I want to lose some weight and get in better shape this year. I have used all the excuses most common to the failed dieter. "I am too busy to exercise" or "we keep too much junk food in the house" or "I don't get any support from my friends and family." No, it falls on me. I have plenty of time for my favorite television shows. It is possible to push away from the table, or avoid the pantry at 1:00 AM and my weight and health are my responsibility. Help and encouragement are great, but I can't use others as a crutch for my own failure to act.

I am going to try an experiment this week and see what happens. This week it's all about me!  It's about the decisions I make, the choices in life, and the discipline to put best before better and better before good. It is a very busy week and I have more to accomplish than I care to think about, but I am committed to make this week all about me and take responsibility for whatever comes my way.

No Regrets - Really!

The last few weeks have been extremely busy, a little stressful and filled with more than a few "deja vu" moments. As my 52nd birthday rushes upon me I think about a common, rather flippant statement that we sometimes make, "I have no regrets."  REALLY!  Come on now, no regrets - none?

I understand the person who says, I have no regrets because all the circumstances of my life have made me the person I am today, but I don't completely buy it either. I have regrets!  People that I hurt through thoughtless, selfish actions - I deeply regret those moments and decisions. Choices I made that stunted my spiritual and emotional development - those are things I would certainly do differently. Relationships that I took for granted, or damaged because I wasn't the man that I needed to be - all those things I deeply regret.

Now the flip side of all that is "what have I learned to make me a better person? I firmly believe that our mistakes, missteps and transgressions can serve as a catalyst to a better, more meaningful life. Regrets don't have to cripple us. No matter how henious, vile, or base the actions of my past may have been - God offers us redemption. Not only redemption from sin, but a redemption that frees us to be something better, someone who can make a difference.

We often forget that the apostle Paul (Saul of Tarsus), was the sworn enemy of the church, that he persecuted Christians and consented to their torture and death. I imagine he had more than a few regret, but look what he made of his life.

Regrets - yes, I have a few, but the possibilities for the future - Limitless.

Fried Baloney Sandwiches

Sometimes while watching the evening news I stop and ask myself "What's happening to America?" Political corruption, moral decadancy and religious apathy. It is enough to make even the most optimistic person turn to Prozac and Paxil.

It is during those times I thank God for motorcycles, backroads and rural Americana. Today was one of those days. Sunny with temperatures nearing 70 degrees and a good stretch of open road. Without traveling anymore than 25 miles from my home I was blessed to encounter the real America, the America that rarely appears on the CNN or even FOX news. Let me share it with you.

It started with a short ride out the backroads to Pucket's Grocery in Lieper's Fork, TN. As I arrived there were two telling signs that America is still strong: 1) There was this old guy sitting on the bed of his pick-up truck selling hand-carved walking canes and 2) there must have been 75 motorcycles parked 1/4 mile on either side of Pucketts. While this lifted my heart the real treat was going into Pucketts and deciding what to eat. It wasn't easy with fresh barbeque, fried okra, sweet potato fries and homemade biscuits, but I opted for an all-time favorite, a fried baloney sandwich and IBC root beer. Yes, I spelled baloney correctly. This is America and that thick, fat slice of meat containing all the questionable parts of a hog sizzled and popped in that wrought iron skillet while the smell permeated my senses.

After leaving Puckett's Grocery, I headed down the Natchez Trace Pkwy to Fly, TN. Now for anyone who truly wants to return to America the way it is supposed to be, you have to stop in Fly. First there is the Fly cemetery and you better not miss the Fly Grocery (pictured to your left). I thought I had been sent back in time to the days of my youth. Ice cold Coca Cola (yes so cold bits of ice where forming in the bottle), a cash register from another era and the crippled old man that must have walked back and forth between the register and counter 10 times before completing one transaction.

My favorite part of the trip was short trek from Fly to Santa Fe. I decided to get as far off the beaten path as I could. Uncertain as to where the roads would take me I simply decided to go east, then south, east, then south until I once again hit civilization (truth is - civilization is what I was experiencing on those lost roads).

Not far out of Fly I passed  Bobby's Beer Stop. Bobby's was nothing more than an old single-wide trailer with a bunch of good-ole boys sitting on the porch throwing back their brews. Hard to tell while doing a drive by, but it looked like a group of locals (no one else could find this spot), enjoying the sunshine and swapping lies.  Somewhere between Fly and Santa Fe was a real display of American entrepreneurship. Creativity that couldn't be matched by Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Fred Smith combined. Where else in the world would you find Jones Goat Farm and Hair Salon. I am not sure if they shampooed, styled and colored goat's hair, or if you could order fried goat cheese while Betty Lou was doing your tease and comb.

I wasn't more than 15 minutes from home when the last vestage of soveriegn America was unvieled - the Maury County Coon Hunters Club. Like I said, it was a good day in America. If I can find these little treasures of America's past just outside my own back door - imagine what is hiding in the hills and holers across the continent. Do yourself a favor - take a day, or even an afternoon and soak up the riches America still has to offer.

Turn up the radio . . .

It was an  open air pavillion in an unobscure village in Nigeria. I could hear a small generator running out back and the speakers cracking and popping as they prepared for the service that evening Then, with a deafening assualt on my ears the speakers began to blair the message at sound decibles that would rival any rock concert I had ever attended.

My limited understanding of mixers, microphones and public address systems was more than adequete training to know that my African brethren were seeking maximum auditory exposure. Yes, every villager within a 50 mile radius of Ukpom was going to hear the message of the evening whether they had planned to or not.

With churches here in the United States using fancing mixing boards and state-of-the-art sound and video systems, this may seem like odd behavior - at least I thought so until I arrived home. There in solice of my suburban home was the stateside equivalent of an African sound system - teenage girls blaring Justin Beiber at volumes that resonated against the windows of my nearest neighbors. Listening over and over again to "baby, baby" at volumes that would make a rattlesnake retreat had me longing for a 3 hour sermon in any remote village on the continent of Africa.

At 51 I am suffering from progressive hearing lost after years of Bob Seger, Led Zeppelin and the Who. Now as I enter the the golden years of life, I have become my parents - railing against the obnoxiously loud pop icons and girls who talk at a pitch and volume that would shatter a champagne glass.

How easy it is for us to criticize other cultures - I am sure that visitors to my home would return to their native lands with stories that would shock and amaze their peers.

A silent cry for help.

All too often I read through the prayer requests at church with just a cursory glance. I see the emails come across my desk, or posts on Facebook and don't really stop to pray like I should. I have such great respect for those people who are open enough to share their struggles and ask friends and family to lift them up before God's altar of grace.

I wonder for every person who verbalizes their struggles how many more are repressing thier silent cries for help. We put on our Sunday go-to-meeting smile along with our sportscoat and tell the world, "I'm fine!" Slowly and deliberately a cancer is eating away at the bone and marrow of our spirits. I think Thoreau was right when he said, "Most men live lives of quiet desparation and go to their graves with their song still in them."

I have my own moments of despair. There are times I feel that the road I am traveling has a dead end sign just ahead, but that is not my greatest fear in life. Most of us want to leave a legacy! We want to do something that will make a difference. It might be money, or power, or serving AIDs victims and malnutrioned children in Africa, but we want know that our stroll along the sands of time has some significant meaning.

I know what I want out of life. It's not a big house or a fancy car. I don't count my success by the number of digits in my retirement account. I want more than anything else for my children to find the song that is within them. I pray that their unique gifts that God has given will rise to the surface and bless their lives and the lives of others.

Starting Over - Day 2

Yesterday, one of the readers of my blog made a great point concerning how others often interfere with our efforts to to move forward in our lives. We all mess up, we all make mistakes, and sometimes those actions impact others. Despite our best efforts to repent, ask forgiveness or seek reconciliation, some people refuse to allow us to a second chance.

It is truly tragic when others carry these large invisitble sacks around filled with all the sins, failings and mistakes that others have made. Whenever we trip or stumble, they reach deep down in their sack and provide us a running history of everything we have ever done wrong. This mean-spirited approach to life is tragic for two reasons: 1) I have a hard enough time with the guilt, shame and challenges of getting past the mistakes in my own life; 2) I can't imagine adding to that burden by keeping a ledger of everyone else's failings. What a truly miserable existence.

So, how do we deal with mean-spirited folks who would hinder our spiritual growth, put obstacles in our way as we try to navigate forward through life? It is easy to say ignore them, don't pay attention to their rants, but some folks seem to get great joy out of making our lives difficult. It feels as though all their anger and vitriol is being directed only at us. For what is worth, here are a few suggestions:

1. Pray for them. Yes, I know it is hard, but praying has a calming emotional affect on our spirits and it also changes things. God can and will intercede when nothing else seems to be working.
2. Try to understand why. What is it in the person's life, or past that makes them so hateful? Sometimes knowing the facts provides us a greater capacity to excercise grace and forgiveness towards that person.
3. Remember people only have as much control as we allow them to have. When you get hurt, angry, and bitter because of another's actions - you are turning control of your emotions over to those who care the least for you. Personally, I don't want my "enemies" to have that kind of power over my attempts to live victoriously.

So, here we are at the crossroads of another day. Someone is just waiting to rain on your parade, pour salt in an old wound, or tell you that your Pollyanna approach to life is naive and foolish. Its up to you how much control you will cede to that person.

Carpe Diem!

Starting Over - Day by Day

On this Valentine's Day I am reminded that my mom and my wife had at least one thing in common, they both love feel-good, happy-ending, Hallmark movie classics. One of my mom's favorites was the Anne of Green Gables series and I always remember her quoting Anne, "today is new and fresh with no mistakes in it."

As I begin this beautiful Valentine's Day morning I am reminded that I have been given stewardship over today. I have more than my share of mistakes and failures in days past and I have an almost limitless number of opportunities for the future. Just for today I have the chance to live life to the fullest, to accomplish great things, the opportunity to change a life, help a friend, or just spend that important time with family that I so often neglect.

Chances are there will still be things that slip through my grasp today. Tasks, goals or objectives that go unfinished, opportunities that might be missed, or stupid mistakes made along the way. The beauty is that tomorrow I get to start over once again.

All too often we let the failures of yesterday have a negative impact on our ability to pursue our goals today. Here are a few simple rules to start each day "fresh and new with no mistakes in it."

• Ask God for forgiveness - then forgive yourself. Don't allow Satan to hold you hostage because of past sins.
• Make reconciliation with those you are at odds with. Most of our differences can be resolved if we humbly seek to pursue the path of peace.
• Pick a goal or objective that has been sitting idle and get busy. If you want to write a book, write a few pages today. If you want to lose weight, cut back on your calories.
• Take small steps each day. You don't accomplish most of your goals all at once - take small steps and it will amaze you how quickly you will make progress.

God has given you a fresh lease on life today - take advantage of it.

Handwriting on the wall

In Daniel 5, King Belshazzar throws a feast in his own honor. In the process of exalting himself and defiling the gold and silver goblets from the house of God, he sees some unusual handwriting on the wall. The interpretation basically means, "you have been weighed in the balance and found wanting..."

I think it is time for more than a few parents to read the handwriting on the wall. Not the palace wall, but their children's Facebook wall. I believe if they did many would find the friends, comments and moral conduct of their children, "to be found wanting." I realize these are harsh words, but in reviewing our own children's friends lists, we were shocked by some of the things we observed - let me share a few with you.

1. Course, crude and at times extremely foul language. In many instances I was shocked that it wasn't just language posted on their wall by others (that had not been removed), but some of our Christian friends language in commenting on others pages, pictures and posts.
2. Immodest conduct. This could fall into a number of categories, but it includes pictures of young people at what appears to be wild parties with drinking and questionable conduct and less than modest attire. On more than one occasion my wife has commented, my child would be in hot water if they were parading around like that in public. (Not to say ours are perfect by any stretch, but Facebook allows us to monitor friends, attire and behavior when our children are away from home). You can always count on one of your kid's friends to post the most immodest pictures or comments.

What do I expect to accomplish with this post?

• There will be those who scrutinize my kids pages to find some fault in them. Mine are not perfect, but if you find unChristian content - let us know and we will deal with it.
• I imagine a lot of the kids who are friends of my kids will block us from their pages. Before you do realize, we have a rule at our house - "if you block the parents, you get taken off our kids pages." We want to know what is going on in our kids lives, and that includes the company they keep (online and off).
• Some parents will take the time to look at their kids pages and then sit down and have a serious conversation about appearances. If this is just 1 in a 100 then I consider this post to be a success.

So, have you read the handwriting on the wall - your kid's wall. It will tell you a lot about who they are hanging with, what is influencing their lives and what is going on when they think you aren't looking.

Trent Wheeler