We all have selective hearing. Sometimes we hear what we want to hear. Sometimes we simply aren't paying attention like we should. OH! Then there is the occasion that we honestly misunderstood what was stated. Let me give you an example of how our auditory equipment works:
"Sally, you look great today. I love the your new hair style and your dress looks fabulous. You are going to knock em dead at the party tonight. I am a little unsure about the shoes though."
Out of that glowing praise and recognition - what did Sally hear? My shoes don't match, they don't work with this dress, or worse - SHE HATES MY SHOES!!! In most cases that was not the intent of the individual, but that is what was heard. This goes on all the time in relationships and it often causes conflict. That is why you will hear people say, "All I do for you and you don't appreciate me," or something similar.
We forget all the goodness, kindness and generosity that is provided by others and end up focusing on the shoes. We get caught up in the moment, in the cross words or the inattention and forget all the good things we should be thankful for. When I went to motorcycle school they taught us how a tiny little blind spot the size of a pencil head could blot out our vision of an oncoming truck (blind spots are deadly). The closer we hold that small, insignificant item to us, the more it impairs our vision. The same is true in relationships. The closer we hold our prejudices and problems, the more it blots out all that is good.
I don't know what the answer is! I am as guilty as the next person of getting upset about some little thing and letting it blot out what really matters. I think the best thing for me is to donate all my shoes to Haiti, then I won't have any distractions. :-)
Trent Wheeler
No comments:
Post a Comment