What others think!

Reputation is what others think about you, character is who you really are.

I don't know who first penned those words, but they are so very true. I spent a lot of my life worried about what people thought about me, worried about my reputation, worried if I would fit in the with the "in crowd." I was far too focused with my reputation, and didn't pay enough attention to my character.

I realized there is an interesting paradox that takes place in life. I can focus on having a good reputation and end up with a lousy character. You tend to compromise when you worry about what other people think. You find yourself living according to their standards and expectations rather than a core set of values.

On the other hand, if you live according to your values and you are true to yourself, your reputation may suffer. Speak too clearly about what you believe, challenge political correctness, or simply speak your mind without apology and people will attack you. You're arrogant, self-centered, self-absorbed! If you really want to live a full and complete life, you need to quit allowing others to impose their values on you. Here are a few questions to ask yourself if you want to live an untethered life that has a strong foundation of character:

1. Am I right in what I am doing? Not what do others think - but can I proceed in good conscience knowing I am doing the right thing?
2. Are my decisions being driven by my core values, what I believe; or are they being influenced by my desire to please someone else?
3. Am I willing to take responsibility for this decision. Whether it is a job, a religious or political view, or choosing how to live my life; will I take personal responsibilty for the fallout and not blame others for my choices?

Simply put - it is the man in the mirror test. Regardless of the fallout, the criticism, the opposition; can you look in the mirror and say, "I am doing the right thing."