Ministry Top Ten

Over the past few months, I have been rambling on about things like compassion, understanding, relationships, etc.  I thought it might be fun to list my personal top ten list of important ministry concepts and then ask my readers to chime in.

The idea here is to share your thoughts on how to make ministries more relevant, or how as a church family we can improve our relationships, fellowship and outreach.

1. Transparency. This needs to start with leaders who share their own hurts, struggles and challenges. When the leaders are open, the church is open.
2. Acceptance. Somewhere along the way our response to people has become unbalanced. We say, "love the sinner, not the sin," but I am afraid we don't really practice it. Everyone is seeking love, acceptance and needs to belong.
3. Liberty. I wrote on this not long ago. We all want liberty extended to us because we can handle it, but we don't trust others with the same freedoms.
4. Forbearance. Sometimes we call it patience. The old KJV says, "love suffers long..." The ability to accept, be patient and allow people time to grow.
5. Non-legalistic. That is the only way I could make that one word. We need to quit laying heavy burdens on other people. Too often we just make up laws because we think we know better than God how to run things.
6. Humility. Isn't this life about bringing glory to God. Not the local church, not the preacher, not my awesome teaching style. It is only by the grace and mercy of God I am here and can do any of this.
7. Teamwork. I will never understand why we are all so territorial when it comes to church work. MY education program, MY mission point, MY, MY, MY. Let's figure out how to bring it all together for the greater good of the kingdom.
8. Kudos. Pat someone on the back every once in a while. While it is about glorifying God and working together, we all need our batteries charged now and again.
9. Forgive. What greater gift can we give one another than a spirit of forgiveness. In this way we are more like Christ than almost any other thing we do.
10. Relevant. If we are going to teach and instruct let's make it relevant. Give me some tools for my toolbox. Help me to understand how a book thousands of years old relates to me today (and it does). The Bible is relevant, its up to us to communicate that to the world.

Alright! It's your turn. Please chime in on this topic - all thoughts and suggestions are welcome.

Getting to know God

There are days I love Facebook and days I hate it. It can be a wonderful resource, or a terrible evil - a lot depends on how you use it. Over the past few years Facebook has served as a great tool to reconnect with old friends, but it has also made me realize that I have lived at least 3 distinctive lives. There were my grade school days and my friends from that era. That was followed by college days when I moved away from Michigan for good and then there has been the rest of my life and all the twists and turns it has taken.

What does that have to do with "Knowing God?" I grew up going to church, but never fully understanding the importance of having a relationship with God. I did the things high school kids do (and they weren't always consistent with godly principles). So the friends that knew me then have a certain perspective on my life. Some are somewhat perplexed that I landed in ministry and faith-based endeavors.

In college I vacillated between trying to find my Christian identity and hanging on to some old behaviors. I recall one of my love interests telling me - "you aren't cut out for ministry." By the time I graduated, my faith began to take root. I have struggled through the years with doubts, fears and personal failings, but God has always been an anchor to keep my life centered.

All that brings me back to Facebook. I am still a work in progress. I have the good fortune of having true friends that date back to my earliest childhood. I want them all to develop a relationship with God. Not just say, "I believe in God," but to really get to know him. Finding the language to communicate that to such a diverse group of friends is challenging.

In this blog (and to some degree in my life) I try more and more to be transparent. I don't want to be the "religious guy" that people with real problems can't relate to. I am also unwilling to compromise my core beliefs just to be able to relate. That only leaves me with one option!!!

To be who I am and allow the world to peek in the windows. I am a weak, failed struggling child of God. At times I sense His disappointment with me, but I am thankful for forgiveness and mercy. To all my friends past and present I would say, "make the effort to get to know God. I know you aren't perfect, you may not feel you are the religious, church going type, but His presence in your life is sustaining, nurturing and compassionate. However you remember me, I hope you can understand this - God loved me when I messed up, He loved me when I stumbled, He loves me still today with all my sin, weakness and failings.

The really great thing is - He Loves You Too!

Tug of War

So what does happen when an irresistable force meets an unmoveable object? For the past two years I have worked with a marriage ministry and that seems to be a common theme among many couples. They are caught in a viscious tug of war match to see who can secure the most emotional territory.

There is no question that in many relationships one person is working harder, doing more and trying harder than the other person. They have invested time, their emotional energy and in many cases sacrificed their personal dreams and visions for the sake of the relationship.

So what happens when you are emotionally spent? What do you do when  you are running out of rope, or about to be pulled over that imaginary line that causes you to say, "enough if enough." I have been there and I am not sure I know the answer to those questions, but here are a few suggestions.

1. Spend some time in reflection and self-evaluation. It is easy to point out the faults in another person, but harder to see them in ourselves. Do you have a friend who will be honest with you? Not one who will tell you what you want to hear, but someone who loves you enough to tell you the ugly truth about yourself. We need people like that in our lives if we ever hope to grow.
2. You are wasting your time trying to change other people. You can only change yourself. Yes, it is trite and tired, but the saying is true, "You can't change the wind, but you can adjust your sails." Focus on what you can do, how you can change, but mostly what you need to remain emotionally healthy.
3. Count the cost. I'm done!  I've had enough! I can't live like this anymore! We have all said it, sometimes even meant it, but are you willing to pay the price. Broken relationships leave scars that almost never heal. They cause financial, emotional and even collateral damage when we give up on a relationship. That doesn't mean there is never a reason to walk away, just make sure that you count the cost to your family, your checkbook, and your spiritual and emotional health before you do.

The key to winning a tug of war is endurance. Hang on one minute longer, dig in just a little deeper, find solid ground so you can center yourself.  All good advice in relationships. I know its not really about winning and losing, but it is about fighting on, digging deep and giving it your best shot.

Would God call us to failure?

I was sitting in church one Sunday when something the preacher said made me stop and think. It was something along the lines of "as long as we give our best..." That spurred me to thinking in the opposite direction, Would God actually call us to failure?

We all love those passages like Romans 8:28, "that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who are called according to His purpose" or Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I don't mean to sound like Sad Sack, but life isn't always a bed of roses and the doctrine of prosperity that is preached in many pulpits across the land is counter-productive to sound spiritual growth. What about Matthew 17 when the disciples where sent out, but could not cast out the demons. Were they destined to fail? Was this designed for them to learn the importance of faith? It is hard for me to reconcile that God might actually trip me up at times, but if it is for his purpose, to teach me a lesson, to help me grow spiritually, then maybe, just maybe I am being called to fail.

There have been times in my life I gave my best and the results where miserable. Times I worked hard at my faith, battled my inner demons, fought the good fight, and the expected results just did not come. These were not selfish ambitions, they were meaningful, purposeful dreams that were trampled under foot like yesterday's trash. Like Job I just cried out  WHY?

Why would God call me to failure?  It doesn't seem consistent with His divine nature, but it is. There is so much I still need to learn, so many people I need to help, so many lives that need to be touched. I am reminded of what Christ said about Paul, "I will show him how much he must suffer for my name" (Acts 9:16).

• It is in my personal failures I learned empathy and compassion.
• In the times my goals and dreams were shattered I learned that God expected more of me.
• In days of heartache and loss the clay was softened and molded according to the potter's will.

Living for God is about surrender. Like an enemy on the battlefield of life, we cannot truly surrender all until we are utterly and completely defeated. That is when defeat is swallowed up in victory. That is when death has no more dominion over us. That is when failure has completed its work.

In need of a little editing

I remember the first time I wrote an article to be considered for professional publication. Before submitting it I had a respected teacher read it over. After reading it through a couple of times he commented, "The content is very good, but I can tell you are a little emotional about the subject matter. Put the article in a desk drawer and don't look at it for two weeks." I took his advice and sure enough two weeks later I felt differently about the content. I repeated this process two more times and when I finally submitted the article it was accepted and published in October, 1984.

Wouldn't it be great if we could go back and rewrite some of our own history. There are more than a few things I would have edited out of my past - moments of shame, times I disappointed those I love, mistakes I made as a parent. People who say, "I wouldn't change a thing because it made me the person I am today," are little selfish in my estimation - they forget that their actions impacted more lives than just their own.

I had some time this weekend for reflection and realized that I am still a work in progress. There are a lot of areas of my life that need some editing. So just to quell your thirst and curiosity, here are a few things I would have done differently.

• I would spend more time in personal communication with God. More time in meaningful prayer and more time in pursuing His will for my life.
• I would listen more and talk less. Most people aren't looking for solutions they are looking for a sympathetic ear to listen. I still have a lot of work to do in this area.
• I would have focused more on the compassion side of ministry and devoted more time to helping those who others overlooked. We spend too much time in church ministering to the healthy and neglecting the sick.
• I would have provided my children a better example of how to live. I tried to teach them the right lessons about love, respect, relationships and the important things in life, but I didn't always model those lessons in the most effective way.

The nice thing about being a writer is the ability to go back and change what you have written, delete the things that don't work and allow others input into the process (that will be another blog). The great thing about life is it's not too late to change.

Monday, Monday

I woke up this morning feeling very drained. I was already emotionally spent from the weekend with so much going on. I clearly have too many irons in the fire and too many projects to complete - at work and home. At first I thought it was just me having a tough day, then I read the feeds on some of my friend's Facebook profiles and realized I wasn't the only one.

• "When you recieve news that is just overwhelming, the only place you can go is to your knees."
• "...another day where life is kicking me in the teeth."
• "Sometimes I wish I could have done things differently but stuff happens and I'm still here."
• "I had a very long talk with myself and it didn't end well."
• "HELP!!!!!"

It reminds me of that classic CCR song, "I see the bad moon rising, I see trouble on the way, I see earthquakes and lighting, I see bad times today." Sometimes life just sucks. You can't put a happy spin on what is going on. Trying to work through the day, or even the next hour feels like you are wading through wet cement.

I am an optimistic guy. I always think that tomorrow is going to be a better day, that I am going to make the best out of what I have today, but even I can't escape the realities of life sometimes. There are days I just want to escape to some exotic destination where the sun always shines and life is simple. Other times I want to turn around and punch life right back in the face.

So spare me the platitudes! Don't try to make me feel better. I know it all turns our right in the end, but right now I am stuck in the middle. Today I will muddle through the mire and muck. I'm content to survive and fight another day. I am putting my optimism on the shelf for a little while, (and for all my friends who think I am a little too Pollyanna at times), I am going to endulge myself and remain ticked off at the world for a little while longer.

Legalism Run Rampant

There is no question that at times I struggle with authority. I am not particularly fond of rules and regulations and I probably view far too many things in this life as "suggestions."  My rebellious nature covers all but one area of my life - that is my view of Biblical Authority. The Bible is God-breathed, inspired, infallable and innerrant - of this I have no doubt.

My problem isn't with the Bible, it's laws or precepts, but with the individual's interpretation of the Bible. Most of you recall the passage, "no prophecy of scripture is given for private interpretation..." (2 Peter 1:20), still we insist on making silly, foolish laws that suit our own personal interpretation. "You have to wear a tie, if you are serving the Lord's supper" or "raising your hands in prayer or song is a distraction to other worshippers." I could start a lengthy list of all the foolish laws and rules we make that suit our personal preference for worship, for Christian living, for personal conduct, etc.

Most of those objections begin with I THINK, "I think God wants us to give him our best," or "I don't think a Christian should . . ."  We all have opinions, but when we begin to subtitute those opinions for law we run into problems.  I can hear someone right now thinking, "well God does want our best."  I have no argument with that, it is our opinionated application of that belief that usually gets us into trouble. Our opinion of what is best is an arbitrary standard. God on the other hand is looking at my heart, which to be perfectly honest is of much great concern to me than men's opinions.

The problem arises because of our applicaiton of Christian liberty. I want this liberty extended to me when I seek to "work out my own salvation with fear and trembling" (Phil 2:12), but I am reluctant to let my brother or sister do the same. I don't trust their judgment, reverence or interpretation of the scriptures. Even worse, I don't respect those areas that do allow us to exercise personal choice.

We all have a lot of burdens we carry in life. I pray we will be cautious not to add to another's burden by heaping on them laws, rules and opinions that they cannot bear.

I want to wallow . . .

I remember when my daughter was in her early teens and suffered some devastating event in her life (like breaking up with a boyfriend). She didn't run to therapy, or go to her room and burn all of his pictures - she had a very simple approach to her moments of despair - "WALLOW."  For her that meant renting a funny movie, inviting a friend over to help skewer the EX and consume large quantities of Blue Bell Ice Cream (I really should be getting an ice cream endorsement here).

I am 51 and really not much different. When life gives me lemons I am not interested in making lemonade. I am not ready to suck it up and get on with life. What I really want, is to go to my man cave with a large meat-lover's pizza (Pizza Hutt endorsement embedded here), bag of chips and plenty of liquid refreshment. Let me close the door and for the next few days (especially if its a weekend), leave me alone to watch football, cop shows and movies where lots of things get blown up. I guess that is a man's answer to wallowing.

If I find myself too sedentary, then I may want to get out in the woods and shoot something, or get in a pick up football game and hit somebody. It is amazing how a little carnage (whether on television, or on the field of competition), can sooth the restless soul.

What HE said.

Jesus reminds us, "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." (John 8:32). Far too many in our society view the idea of absolute truth as confining, restrictive and legalistic. The idea that someone would suggest there is an absolute right or wrong, good or evil, truth or error is offensive to many.

For just a minute look at the end of this verse! The truth shall make you free. Freedom, liberty, release from the bondage and oppression that plagues our lives - now that is an appealing concept. Why do some death row inmates finally confess, just before their lives are taken? They are seeking freedom from the guilt, pain and in many cases looking for insurance against the unknown.

Consider the sports world. Andy Pettit confesses to using performance enhancing drugs and the country quickly forgives him. Roger Clemons on the other hand has lost the respect of many and may find himself serving time in a Federal Prison.

There is a clarity that comes when we acknowledge there is an absolute set of standards that we should live by. Understanding truth frees me from the worries of political correctness, religious ambiguity and moral terpitude. I don't have to apologize for how I live, for I walk according to a higher standard.

I believe what HE said! The Bible is the standard for absolute truth. It is not subject to the whims of society, or the imposition of governments. I don't view it as a book of thou shalts, or thou shalt nots - I see it as the key that unlocks the shackles of sin and made me free.