Do Right Regardless

A friend and reader asked about how we handle difficult relationships - particularly those that involve conflict and people who don't meet their obligations. She shared her insights that it is our responsibility to do right regardless of the circumstances. Here are a few reasons to do the honorable thing, even if others don't.

1. My children are watching me. The lessons they learn about right and wrong, good and evil, but most importantly the lessons they learn on handling difficult situations come from watching me. They learn far more from my character than they learn from my monologues. If I want my children to live good honorable lives, then I need to model that for them.

2. You're better than that. My mother always told me not to lower myself to other people's standards. When I did stumble and mess us she reminded me - "you're better than that." Why would we criticize the failings of others only to model their very same behavior? Remember the Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."  Didn't Jesus also tell you to "Love your enemies, and to pray for those who persecute you" (Matt. 5:44).  Hard teachings - but we will be better people if we practice these truths.

3. Sow an act - reap a habit. Sow a habit - reap a character. Sow a character - reap a destiny. My children would get tired of me telling them, "By your actions you are determining what kind of person you will be when you grow up." How many times have you heard people say, usually after getting in trouble - "I'm really not that kind of person."  That may be true, but if you continue down that path - you will be.

The simple answer is to live a pro-active life. Make decisions based on your values, the things you know that are "true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable and praiseworthy" (Philippians 4:8).  If you make those kind of decisions, no one will ever question your character.

Why I go to church (or don't go sometimes).

The picture to your left is the reason I go to church. No, its more than the Spring Meadows Church of Christ that calls me to worship, but the things I experience when I am there. I have gone through a lot of different phases on my spiritual journey. There have been times I have just been plain tired, frustrated and discouraged. I have felt it would just be easier to stay home and get my religous fix from a wavy-haired tele-evangelist on a 42 inch flat panel screen.

As I look over my past I realize I have had lots of different motives for going to church. My parents made me attend, or deal with the consequences! I went out of fear, knowing that skipping church was the fast-track to a hell-fire and brimstone reprimand. I have heard "forsake not the assembling of yourselves together..." so many times I thought it was tattooed on my forehead. Then there was the guilt factor - I was the minister, I had to set the example, but I really didn't feel like dealing with the people.

So, for me it is time to be real about our worship time together. Why do I go to church - to experience God and the love of family. Sometimes I fear we so focus on "doing church" right that we leave the "Spirit" out of the spirit and truth passage (John 4:24). I am frankly tired of people using terms like "reverence" and "decently and in order" to choke the life out of our worship experience.

I understand that there are acceptable and unacceptable forms of worship. We have those who embrace every new idea and crazy ism. There are folks whose minds are so open their brains fell out. I also know that worship is to be experienced, cherished and shared. It is a time to rejoice, sing praises and pour out our spirits to God.

Why do I go to church? I go to be with my Father and spend a joyous time together with my family. The real point of this is not "why do I go, or not go" - but what draws others to worship and why should they stay.

Trent Wheeler