It's all about me

"It's all about me!" What are the first thoughts that come into your head when you hear that phrase. Is it the self-absorbed teenage girl depicted on most of today's sitcoms, or someone in your office who has the mistaken idea that they are at the center of the universe?

For just a minute I want to throw a positive spin on focusing on yourself. What if it's all about me = personal responsibility. If I want to get ahead in this world, make a difference, or leave a legacy then it's all about me. I can no longer blame my boss, my spouse or some cosmic forces in the universe for the bad things that happen, or my inability to transcend adversity.

Let me give you a simple example most of us can understand. I want to lose some weight and get in better shape this year. I have used all the excuses most common to the failed dieter. "I am too busy to exercise" or "we keep too much junk food in the house" or "I don't get any support from my friends and family." No, it falls on me. I have plenty of time for my favorite television shows. It is possible to push away from the table, or avoid the pantry at 1:00 AM and my weight and health are my responsibility. Help and encouragement are great, but I can't use others as a crutch for my own failure to act.

I am going to try an experiment this week and see what happens. This week it's all about me!  It's about the decisions I make, the choices in life, and the discipline to put best before better and better before good. It is a very busy week and I have more to accomplish than I care to think about, but I am committed to make this week all about me and take responsibility for whatever comes my way.

Do Right Regardless

A friend and reader asked about how we handle difficult relationships - particularly those that involve conflict and people who don't meet their obligations. She shared her insights that it is our responsibility to do right regardless of the circumstances. Here are a few reasons to do the honorable thing, even if others don't.

1. My children are watching me. The lessons they learn about right and wrong, good and evil, but most importantly the lessons they learn on handling difficult situations come from watching me. They learn far more from my character than they learn from my monologues. If I want my children to live good honorable lives, then I need to model that for them.

2. You're better than that. My mother always told me not to lower myself to other people's standards. When I did stumble and mess us she reminded me - "you're better than that." Why would we criticize the failings of others only to model their very same behavior? Remember the Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."  Didn't Jesus also tell you to "Love your enemies, and to pray for those who persecute you" (Matt. 5:44).  Hard teachings - but we will be better people if we practice these truths.

3. Sow an act - reap a habit. Sow a habit - reap a character. Sow a character - reap a destiny. My children would get tired of me telling them, "By your actions you are determining what kind of person you will be when you grow up." How many times have you heard people say, usually after getting in trouble - "I'm really not that kind of person."  That may be true, but if you continue down that path - you will be.

The simple answer is to live a pro-active life. Make decisions based on your values, the things you know that are "true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable and praiseworthy" (Philippians 4:8).  If you make those kind of decisions, no one will ever question your character.