Starting Over - Day 2

Yesterday, one of the readers of my blog made a great point concerning how others often interfere with our efforts to to move forward in our lives. We all mess up, we all make mistakes, and sometimes those actions impact others. Despite our best efforts to repent, ask forgiveness or seek reconciliation, some people refuse to allow us to a second chance.

It is truly tragic when others carry these large invisitble sacks around filled with all the sins, failings and mistakes that others have made. Whenever we trip or stumble, they reach deep down in their sack and provide us a running history of everything we have ever done wrong. This mean-spirited approach to life is tragic for two reasons: 1) I have a hard enough time with the guilt, shame and challenges of getting past the mistakes in my own life; 2) I can't imagine adding to that burden by keeping a ledger of everyone else's failings. What a truly miserable existence.

So, how do we deal with mean-spirited folks who would hinder our spiritual growth, put obstacles in our way as we try to navigate forward through life? It is easy to say ignore them, don't pay attention to their rants, but some folks seem to get great joy out of making our lives difficult. It feels as though all their anger and vitriol is being directed only at us. For what is worth, here are a few suggestions:

1. Pray for them. Yes, I know it is hard, but praying has a calming emotional affect on our spirits and it also changes things. God can and will intercede when nothing else seems to be working.
2. Try to understand why. What is it in the person's life, or past that makes them so hateful? Sometimes knowing the facts provides us a greater capacity to excercise grace and forgiveness towards that person.
3. Remember people only have as much control as we allow them to have. When you get hurt, angry, and bitter because of another's actions - you are turning control of your emotions over to those who care the least for you. Personally, I don't want my "enemies" to have that kind of power over my attempts to live victoriously.

So, here we are at the crossroads of another day. Someone is just waiting to rain on your parade, pour salt in an old wound, or tell you that your Pollyanna approach to life is naive and foolish. Its up to you how much control you will cede to that person.

Carpe Diem!

LIghten Up

I have done some pretty ignorant things in my life. From high school antics that nearly landed me in jail, to thrill-seeking adventures in developing countries that could have gotten me killed. With the exception of those times my actions and behaviors really hurt other people, I've had a great life.

I have accidentally walked into women's rest rooms and laughed at myself later. I have stood in the midst of crowded theme parks and done the YMCA song just to embarrass my children. Last year I decided to do a little Lynyrd Skynyrd karaoke on the cruise ship, only to be mocked by someone who sings even worse than I do.

Isn't it time we all lightened up a little bit and learn to live. Jane Austen wrote in one of her books, "What do we live for but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn." With that in mind I only have two suggestions in today's blog:

1. Learn to laugh at yourself. Don't be shy, don't be ashamed, don't be afraid. If you are living life with the volume turned all the way up, people will stare, they will make comments, they may even try to impune your character - so what. Don't rob yourself of the joy of the moment and don't let others rob you of it either.
2. Cut others some slack. If you haven't read "The Sisters of Angelica" post I added a couple of weeks ago, go back and read it. These women were loud, obnoxious and absolutely hilarious. I almost missed the chance to join in the revelry by judging them. Most people are just trying to squeeze a little joy out of the day. Who are we to rob them of that moment.

So, lighten up. Go out tonight and dance under the stars. Walk up and talk to a stranger in the supermarket (tell them you like their shoes and see what happens). Pick up the phone and swap a childhood memory with an old friend.