Starting Over - Day 2

Yesterday, one of the readers of my blog made a great point concerning how others often interfere with our efforts to to move forward in our lives. We all mess up, we all make mistakes, and sometimes those actions impact others. Despite our best efforts to repent, ask forgiveness or seek reconciliation, some people refuse to allow us to a second chance.

It is truly tragic when others carry these large invisitble sacks around filled with all the sins, failings and mistakes that others have made. Whenever we trip or stumble, they reach deep down in their sack and provide us a running history of everything we have ever done wrong. This mean-spirited approach to life is tragic for two reasons: 1) I have a hard enough time with the guilt, shame and challenges of getting past the mistakes in my own life; 2) I can't imagine adding to that burden by keeping a ledger of everyone else's failings. What a truly miserable existence.

So, how do we deal with mean-spirited folks who would hinder our spiritual growth, put obstacles in our way as we try to navigate forward through life? It is easy to say ignore them, don't pay attention to their rants, but some folks seem to get great joy out of making our lives difficult. It feels as though all their anger and vitriol is being directed only at us. For what is worth, here are a few suggestions:

1. Pray for them. Yes, I know it is hard, but praying has a calming emotional affect on our spirits and it also changes things. God can and will intercede when nothing else seems to be working.
2. Try to understand why. What is it in the person's life, or past that makes them so hateful? Sometimes knowing the facts provides us a greater capacity to excercise grace and forgiveness towards that person.
3. Remember people only have as much control as we allow them to have. When you get hurt, angry, and bitter because of another's actions - you are turning control of your emotions over to those who care the least for you. Personally, I don't want my "enemies" to have that kind of power over my attempts to live victoriously.

So, here we are at the crossroads of another day. Someone is just waiting to rain on your parade, pour salt in an old wound, or tell you that your Pollyanna approach to life is naive and foolish. Its up to you how much control you will cede to that person.

Carpe Diem!

Starting Over - Day by Day

On this Valentine's Day I am reminded that my mom and my wife had at least one thing in common, they both love feel-good, happy-ending, Hallmark movie classics. One of my mom's favorites was the Anne of Green Gables series and I always remember her quoting Anne, "today is new and fresh with no mistakes in it."

As I begin this beautiful Valentine's Day morning I am reminded that I have been given stewardship over today. I have more than my share of mistakes and failures in days past and I have an almost limitless number of opportunities for the future. Just for today I have the chance to live life to the fullest, to accomplish great things, the opportunity to change a life, help a friend, or just spend that important time with family that I so often neglect.

Chances are there will still be things that slip through my grasp today. Tasks, goals or objectives that go unfinished, opportunities that might be missed, or stupid mistakes made along the way. The beauty is that tomorrow I get to start over once again.

All too often we let the failures of yesterday have a negative impact on our ability to pursue our goals today. Here are a few simple rules to start each day "fresh and new with no mistakes in it."

• Ask God for forgiveness - then forgive yourself. Don't allow Satan to hold you hostage because of past sins.
• Make reconciliation with those you are at odds with. Most of our differences can be resolved if we humbly seek to pursue the path of peace.
• Pick a goal or objective that has been sitting idle and get busy. If you want to write a book, write a few pages today. If you want to lose weight, cut back on your calories.
• Take small steps each day. You don't accomplish most of your goals all at once - take small steps and it will amaze you how quickly you will make progress.

God has given you a fresh lease on life today - take advantage of it.

This time you can!!!

So why do we fail to fulfill our New Year's Resolutions. There are a couple of reasons:

1. We tend to make our resolutions rashly. An hour before midnight someone hands us a slip of paper and we right down next year's resolutions. I am going to quit smoking, lose weight, increase my income. All worthy goals, but they are empty promises we make to ourselves. Mary Kay Ash (MaryKay Cosmetics) says "A goal is a dream with a deadline."
2. We lack focus! We can make a laundry list of all things we hope to do, or we can choose one or two very specific items that we are determined to accomplish. I have a good friend who looks over his business at the end of every year and implements a very simple, but effective plan. First, he cuts the 20% of things he is doing that are the most unproductive and uses that energy to apply towards new projects he wants to purse.

So here is my simple approach to succeeding this year and using that success as a springboard for a more productive life.

• Identify the single most important thing you want to accomplish this year. Attack it with reckless abandon and don't rest till it is done. If you want to lose 20 lbs. make it a priority in everything you do. If you can't resist buttered popcorn at the movies - don't go to the movies till you lose the 20 lbs. A single-minded approach will help us to avoid the detours and justifications that keep us from reaching our goals.
• Remind yourself of the impact that attaining that one goal will have. Success breeds success. Achieve that goal and you will be ready to tackle the next one with the same fire in your belly. When you feel like giving up - remember your approach to this one thing will affect every avenue of your life. If you succeed, you will be ready for the next challenge, if you surrender - you will be less motivated for future goals.

The only thing that can stop you from succeeding is you. Whether it is food, finances, or professional goals - you are in control. You have to take the wheel and make things happen. Don't fall into the blame game, don't look for a scapegoat, take responsibility and make it happen.