Harnessing Stress

After I went through my divorce in 2003, I lost 25 lbs. in 30 days. It was one of the few good things I remember during that year. My waistline was as small as it had been in a decade. There was a lot of stress, fear and foolishness that followed that period of my life, but looking back (and now forward) I can see some positive things I gained from those trying times. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Use negative energy as a motivation. I have had my share of struggles in relationships, business dealings and finances. When things get rough, some people give up, others get motivated. I am tired of being overweight, underpaid, and out of work. If you are tired of feeling that way, then get off your butt and get busy, its never too late to make improvements.
2. Exercise! One of he single best things you can do to counter stress, depression and other emotional challenges is to exercise. Physical exertion floods your body with positive endorphins. The physical exertion reduces stress and the chemical affect on  your body stimulates a positive emotional response (i.e. you effectively treat mind and body).
3. Quit the blame game. You can't change other people. It doesn't matter if it is a boss, a co-worker, or your spouse, you are expending valuable energy that could be used for self-improvement. Start asking what do I need to do for me.

All that pent up energy and emotion we call stress can find a positive release. I didn't realize it when I was younger, but when I was angry I would go shoot some hoops. After about an hour I felt so much better. I often couldn't remember why I was so angry.

You may think this is all a bunch of psycho-babel (and maybe it is), but do me a favor. Try making this one change for a week. Take the negative energy you feel this week and direct it towards something positive (try to include excercise in that process). Come back in a week and tell me how it went.

LIghten Up

I have done some pretty ignorant things in my life. From high school antics that nearly landed me in jail, to thrill-seeking adventures in developing countries that could have gotten me killed. With the exception of those times my actions and behaviors really hurt other people, I've had a great life.

I have accidentally walked into women's rest rooms and laughed at myself later. I have stood in the midst of crowded theme parks and done the YMCA song just to embarrass my children. Last year I decided to do a little Lynyrd Skynyrd karaoke on the cruise ship, only to be mocked by someone who sings even worse than I do.

Isn't it time we all lightened up a little bit and learn to live. Jane Austen wrote in one of her books, "What do we live for but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn." With that in mind I only have two suggestions in today's blog:

1. Learn to laugh at yourself. Don't be shy, don't be ashamed, don't be afraid. If you are living life with the volume turned all the way up, people will stare, they will make comments, they may even try to impune your character - so what. Don't rob yourself of the joy of the moment and don't let others rob you of it either.
2. Cut others some slack. If you haven't read "The Sisters of Angelica" post I added a couple of weeks ago, go back and read it. These women were loud, obnoxious and absolutely hilarious. I almost missed the chance to join in the revelry by judging them. Most people are just trying to squeeze a little joy out of the day. Who are we to rob them of that moment.

So, lighten up. Go out tonight and dance under the stars. Walk up and talk to a stranger in the supermarket (tell them you like their shoes and see what happens). Pick up the phone and swap a childhood memory with an old friend.