Cheerleaders, Counselors & Friends

Sometimes I stop and actually try to look objectively at my own life and the inconsistencies are glaring! I have never been the kind of person that is motivated by the cheerleader approach to life. What do I mean by cheerleader approach, "Yeah rah, you can do it, go, go, go." That is where the inconsistencies come - sometimes I find myself using that approach in trying to help others.

Maybe this is over-simplified, but I can think of three ways we need to approach others as a source of encouragement and motivation: 1) Cheerleaders, 2) Counselors, and/or 3) Friends. Yes, I know, some of these may overlap at times, but here is my take on helping others.

Cheerleaders: There are times that all we really need is a little encouragement or support. We need someone to believe in us, or at the very least pretend to believe in us. A simple "you can do it," may be all they need to take them to the next level.

Counselors: I am not talking about professional counselors (though they certainly have their place). This is when you need to sit down with someone, listen carefully and guide them through the morass and strugglesof life. They may not be abe to see clearly, or understand the path they are on and they need someone to hold them accountable, help them define the problem, or see options they have not considered.

Friends: Finally there are those times you just need someone you trust to sit and listen. You don't want advice, you aren't looking for a placebo to help you past the little heartache or pain you are experiencing. You need that trusted confidant who can hear the worst, but still beleive the best.

I guess there are two life lessons here for me: 1) I need to learn to look for help in the right places at the right time. Calling a cheerleader when I need a friend is just going to irritate the fire out of me; 2) I need to stop and listen when others are sharing their walk through life. I need to learn to understand what they need - a cheerleader, a counselor or a friend.