Legacy

On Sunday we started a series at church on Legacy. What is it we hope to leave behind? At times I struggle with pursuing the trappings of a successful life and miss the real substance of what it means to "leave a legacy." I may shout and rage against the machine, materialism and injustice in this world, but the truth is I like my creature comforts and parting with them is often harder than talking about parting with them.

I was reminded this morning just how important those daily acts and teachable moments are in our lives. I was scanning my children's facebook pages when I ran across a thread on my son's page. The conversation went something like this:

Gina: "What was that quote you said your dad was always telling you? You can't always have what you want, but you can always do what is right?"

Tristan: My dad used to say, "I can't always feel the way I am supposed to feel, but I can always act the way I am supposed to act."

So I sit here this morning with a little pride, a little self-satisfaction, but mostly with a strong reminder that our children are listening. It may not all sink in! It may take decades for some of it to bubble to the top, but they are learning something from us. They will learn from our negative behaviors and our positive examples, but any way you look at it - we are leaving a legacy.

I get down on myself a lot in areas I feel I have failed as a parent, a husband and a friend to others, but little moments like the one I experienced this morning remind me that someone is always watching and someone is always listening.

So, what is your legacy going to?

Handwriting on the wall

In Daniel 5, King Belshazzar throws a feast in his own honor. In the process of exalting himself and defiling the gold and silver goblets from the house of God, he sees some unusual handwriting on the wall. The interpretation basically means, "you have been weighed in the balance and found wanting..."

I think it is time for more than a few parents to read the handwriting on the wall. Not the palace wall, but their children's Facebook wall. I believe if they did many would find the friends, comments and moral conduct of their children, "to be found wanting." I realize these are harsh words, but in reviewing our own children's friends lists, we were shocked by some of the things we observed - let me share a few with you.

1. Course, crude and at times extremely foul language. In many instances I was shocked that it wasn't just language posted on their wall by others (that had not been removed), but some of our Christian friends language in commenting on others pages, pictures and posts.
2. Immodest conduct. This could fall into a number of categories, but it includes pictures of young people at what appears to be wild parties with drinking and questionable conduct and less than modest attire. On more than one occasion my wife has commented, my child would be in hot water if they were parading around like that in public. (Not to say ours are perfect by any stretch, but Facebook allows us to monitor friends, attire and behavior when our children are away from home). You can always count on one of your kid's friends to post the most immodest pictures or comments.

What do I expect to accomplish with this post?

• There will be those who scrutinize my kids pages to find some fault in them. Mine are not perfect, but if you find unChristian content - let us know and we will deal with it.
• I imagine a lot of the kids who are friends of my kids will block us from their pages. Before you do realize, we have a rule at our house - "if you block the parents, you get taken off our kids pages." We want to know what is going on in our kids lives, and that includes the company they keep (online and off).
• Some parents will take the time to look at their kids pages and then sit down and have a serious conversation about appearances. If this is just 1 in a 100 then I consider this post to be a success.

So, have you read the handwriting on the wall - your kid's wall. It will tell you a lot about who they are hanging with, what is influencing their lives and what is going on when they think you aren't looking.

Trent Wheeler