"You cannot hide the smoke of the hut you set on fire." (Burundi Proverb).

For the next series of blogs, I plan to center my thoughts on some African Proverbs I have been introduced to. While I was in Namibia this last year some of the locals used figures of speech and idioms that often made me smile. Upon returning to the states, one of our board members used a series of African Proverbs to lead our devotional at the August board meeting. Now it is my turn to share a few with you.

You cannot hide the smoke of the hut you set on fire, or in Biblical terms - "be sure your sins will find you out." I was recently reminded of just how transparent our lives really are when we stop long enough to take inventory. I was recently doing a little "sluething" on the internet and was shocked by some of the things that people allow to be posted online. Some people don't care, others simply don't stop to consider the consequences of their conduct.

Regardless of how carefully we try to cover our tracks - eventually someone will see the smoke from our burning hut. I can only imagine how King David felt when the prophet told him the story of ewe lamb. Outraged and indignant it must have been quite humbling when Nathan said, "You are that man."

Character Matters

As I was driving to work this morning, sports talk radio was discussing the allegations against Lawrence Taylor. The focus of that discussion was whether character should be a considered in Hall of Fame voting, or if someone can be removed from the Hall of Fame because of questionable behavior later in life. I was disappointed in the number of people (including the radio hosts) that felt that a person should be judged solely by his performance on the field.

What message does that send to our children? As long as you are a great athelete, a phenomenal performer, or a wizard on Wall Street, somehow those issues should be viewed independently of your character. In the classic flim, "Chariots of Fire," one of the Olympic committed noted that Eric Liddle's running was an extension of his character. The two were inexplicitlly connected. Liddle's life, dedication to others and self-sacrifcie were "hall of fame performances" more than any gold trinket or cup that set on his Edinburgh sideboard.

I applaud Roger Goodell's approach since he has become commissioner of the NFL. He has made it clear that being part of the professional football fraternity is a priviledge that carries a corresponding responsibility. What you do off the field matters. Ben Rothlesburger, Brian Cushing, Michael Vick and Pacman Jones have all learned there is a price to pay for inappropriate conduct. In each cases above the conduct of these men impacted their teams.

From the time my children were small I tried to encourage them to pick hereos that were men of character. It didn't matter if they won a superbowl, held the record for sacking the quarterback or hit 70 home runs in a season - who they are is more important than what they can do on the field. We are sending a very bad message to our youth, if you are big enough, strong enough, fast enough and talented enough it doesn't matter what your character is, someone will pay you the big bucks.

I hear people praise the Nick Saban's and John Calipari's of the world because they are winners. It doesn't matter that they failed to meet their commitments to other programs, engaged in recruiting violations, or lied to the media - they are winners. When we give them a pass because they bring our teams a victory, we are no better than they are.

Character Matters and that should include the Hall of Fame.

Integrity

"The godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children who follow them." (Prov.  20:7).

We exert a lot of physical and emotional energy trying to please other people. Whether it is keeping up with the Jones'; trying to impress our boss; or just generally concerning ourselves with what somebody else might think - I wonder how much time and energy is spent in living up to others expectations.

We need to live our lives with character, integrity, honesty and values; but those values should be based on who we are deep down inside, not the values that someone else tries to impose upon us. Years ago a friend and business colleague shared this poem with me. I think it conveys this idea of being true to yourself.

The Man in the Glass

When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.

For it isn’t your father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass.
The fellow whose verdict counts most in you life
Is the one staring back from the glass.

You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum
And think you’re a wonderful guy.
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
If you can’t look him straight in the eye.

He’s the fellow to please-never mind all the rest,
For he’s with you clear to the end.
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass.
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.

Accepting Responsibility

"I think of a hero as someone who understands the degree of responsibility that comes with his freedom."  Bob Dylan

I used to think that it was prudent to exercise restraint in most situations, but that philosophy of life is sure to get you stepped on. There are times you need to confront the idiots, ideologues and irresponsible people who are perfectly content to dump their garbage in your front yard.

I really don't have a problem with confrontation anymore. What does irritate me are people who think that you shouldn't have to take responsibility for the stands you take.  If you are going to get in someone's face, confront an issue at the office, or in your church, or just chew out someone who get's on your nerves, then understand there is a price to pay.

So next time you think, "I sure would love to give him/her a piece of my mind." Go for it!, but don't expect to recieve candy on Valentine's Day, or use them as a reference on your resume. Stand up for what you believe is right - then be willing to take the fallout that comes from being a person of principle.

Trent Wheeler

What others think!

Reputation is what others think about you, character is who you really are.

I don't know who first penned those words, but they are so very true. I spent a lot of my life worried about what people thought about me, worried about my reputation, worried if I would fit in the with the "in crowd." I was far too focused with my reputation, and didn't pay enough attention to my character.

I realized there is an interesting paradox that takes place in life. I can focus on having a good reputation and end up with a lousy character. You tend to compromise when you worry about what other people think. You find yourself living according to their standards and expectations rather than a core set of values.

On the other hand, if you live according to your values and you are true to yourself, your reputation may suffer. Speak too clearly about what you believe, challenge political correctness, or simply speak your mind without apology and people will attack you. You're arrogant, self-centered, self-absorbed! If you really want to live a full and complete life, you need to quit allowing others to impose their values on you. Here are a few questions to ask yourself if you want to live an untethered life that has a strong foundation of character:

1. Am I right in what I am doing? Not what do others think - but can I proceed in good conscience knowing I am doing the right thing?
2. Are my decisions being driven by my core values, what I believe; or are they being influenced by my desire to please someone else?
3. Am I willing to take responsibility for this decision. Whether it is a job, a religious or political view, or choosing how to live my life; will I take personal responsibilty for the fallout and not blame others for my choices?

Simply put - it is the man in the mirror test. Regardless of the fallout, the criticism, the opposition; can you look in the mirror and say, "I am doing the right thing."