Being Different

There are lots of ways to be different. Some people show their uniqueness by the way they dress, others by their strange and quirky personalities. My favorite are the people who claim to express their individuality by wearing the same new fashion trends that are sweeping the nation.

Solomon tells us, "there is nothing new under the sun" (Ecc. 1:9). That puts a bit of a damper in my creative juices. Perhaps a better term than "being different" would be "set apart." When the phrase is used in a biblical setting it means "set apart for a purpose," in much the same way you take out eggs, sugar, flour and milk for the specific purpose of making cookies.

I have learned (but not often enough), that if you really want to be different, to set yourself apart from the crowd there is no greater opportunity than when things really stink. I have met Hospice patients who faced death with such dignity and faith that they inspired everyone around them. I have walked with single parents who despite the loss of a spouse, have held their heads high and focused on the well-being of their children.

How I handle adversity is what really sets me apart from the crowd. My character and true nature are best demonstrated when the deck is stacked against me. Can I persevere in times of trial? Do I respond in a kind and loving way when I feel mistreated? Someone wisely said, "You can no more blame your character on your circumstances than you can blame the mirror for your looks."

We CHOOSE the kind of person we are going to be by the actions we take. If I really want to be different, I will make better choices when faced with adversity. If I really want to be set apart for an holy calling, I will allow people to see that character is best demonstrated in times of trial. If I want to find peace within, then I must learn to manage the storms that are without.

Today

It's Sunday, August 22, 2010. What's so special about today? As trite as it may sound, it is the first day of the rest of my life. I wish I could say that I start today without any baggage, history or problems, but 51 years of living makes that impossible. The only way I can repair the challenges of the past and insure a productive and fulfilling future is to change how I live today.

Yes, I have been at this place in my life before - fed up, determined and committed to positive change. How many times have I said, "I am going to eat better, exercise, or work on my personal goals. This time it is going to be different." That is when the voice of doubt and discouragement tries to kick in. What is different this time?  Not a lot really!

Win or lose, victory or defeat, trial or triumph - there have been some very basic character triats that keep me going, keep me believing, keep me moving in the direction of my dreams.

• Optimism. I believe we can change the future. I believe that God has endowed us with power, given us His Spirit, and wants what is best for His children. I can get kicked in the gut today and still believe that tomorrow is going to be a better day.
• Opportunity. Everywhere I look there are opportunities for achievement. You don't agree? What about personal fitness. I can eat better, exercise and take steps to being a healthier me. Are you aware in the midst of this lousy economy people are starting new businesses, beginning new careers and pursuing opportunities they have dreamed about for a lifetime.
• Opposition. We were born into this world with a survival instinct. You have to fight for the things you want. Life isn't delivered to you on a silver platter. I'm sorry but your fortune cookie probably doesn't have today's winning lottery numbers on it. Opposition to our muscles us make us stronger, opposition in life isn't much different. Overcome just one obstacle today and you will be better because of it.

So, thank you father for another day. A day of opportunities!  A day of change! A day of renewal! Forgive me for the failures of yesterday and lead me through the land mines in my tomorrows, but "this is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

Managing Defeat

"Before success in any man's life, he is sure to meet with much temporary defeat and perhaps failure. When defeat overtakes a man, the easiest and most logical thing is to quit. That is exactly what the majority of men do." Napolean Hill

A few years back I had the privilege of working with a friend who ran a men's shelter. My perception of homeless shelters was a place reserved for drug addicts and the most challenged social classes of our society. I was surprised to learn that most of the men came from typical middle-class backgrounds, but somewhere along the way had suffered some devastating defeat in their life. They went through a divorce, had a child die, or were downsized from a longstanding position in the corporate world. Rather than address the problem, it was easier to escape into a world of self-pity and doubt.

I realized then that a very thin line existed between my own failures and defeats and those fighting daily to reclaim the most basic elements of life. "But for the grace of God, goes me." I have been through divorce, depression and discouragement. I have come very close to quitting on things that really mattered. I have spent mornings unprepared and unwilling to wade through another day of disappointment, struggle and hardship, but here I am - one day closer to eternity, one day closer to victory.

I don't have all the answers to managing defeat and failure. I wish I knew how to best overcome the struggles of discouragment and depression. The one thing I am confident about is this. If you want to succeed, you can never surrender your dreams. What sets you apart, lifts you above the masses, the single character issue that places you in the small minority of winners is an unwillingness to quit - for as Napolean Hill correctly stated, "That is exactly what the majority of men do!"

Trent Wheeler