Talk to me

I was reminded today of the value of basic communication. We live in a world of acronyms, texting shorthand and impersonal communication. Between the LOL's and IDK's I get from my kids, I wonder if, as parents we are really stop to hear what our children have to say. I have been known to text my own children rather than walk up stairs and talk to them.

Most of us already know that communication is lacking in the parent-child relationship, but texting my kids when I could be having a conversation; writing notes on their Facebook walls or saying hello and running off to my man-cave really don't solve the larger problems in life.

When my son graduated from college we started having lunch together once a week. When he was in high school we would talk every night and now that he is on his own and taking on the world, I cherish those conversations more than ever. Today I had lunch with my daughter. The original design was to talk about college, her future, but it struck me just how much it means for her to tell me about her day, her friends, some crazy new song, or whatever it is on her mind.

When our children are teenagers they don't think we listen to them (maybe because we often don't listen to them). We are too busy with a hundred other things to hear some silly story about a friend getting stuck in the bathroom stall, or their unique views on politics and religion. We want them to stop, to listen to us, to show respect in an evnironment where they don't feel genuinely loved.

I am not suggestion life with our kids is all warm fuzzies. They need discipline, order, respect, but ultimatley they need to know they are loved. That happens when we stop just long enought to ask, "what is on your mind today."

A Five Second Sermon

I was sitting in worship recently (and actually listening) when it struck me how often we we preach little 5 second sermons without even realizing it. While one of the men was serving upfront, he made a very brief parenthetical comment that revealed to me exactly what he believed on a particular topic. It caused me to pause and consider the siginificance of the little things we say:

1. How often do I miss the important nuances of another's speech because I am not paying attention? Whether it is my spouse, children, or something being taught in worship - am I really zoned in on what others are saying.
2. What am I revealing about myself. All too often my tongue goes unchecked and people get a short little, five-second glimpse of who I really am. In those moments all I can do is hope they aren't paying attention.
3. Listening is becoming a lost art. We are distracted by television and our computer monitors, we are to consumed with what we want to say, or we are simply inconsiderate of others. If you want to be a reallly good friend, or really learn what makes another person tick - shut up and listen.

I think we have all had those moments when we are pulled back to consciousness and ask, "Did I really just hear that?" Imagine what life would be like if we really stopped to listen once in awhile.