The Gulf Between

I have lost count of how many times I have given myself some of the following advice:

• Don't give other people control your emotions.
• Make a choice to be happy regardless of the circumstances.
• Live pro-actively (i.e. make affirmative choices on how to live your life, not reactionary ones).

I know that ultimately I have to take responsibility for my feelings, emotions, frustrations and the degree to which I allow others to influence me. When I am tired or frustrated with those close to me I can choose not to carry that burden, or I can feed those aweful demons of bitterness, anger and hate. I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO, so why is it so hard.

There is a great gulf between our intellectual understanding of a principle and our ability to live it. Not a day goes by that I don't try cross that vast ocean of hard decisions to land on that peaceful shore of pro-active living. Despite my best efforts, I still allow others to capsize my little ship and leave me flailing in the waters of bitterness and discontent.

So how do we navigate through those tricky waters. Isolation won't work because most of us couldn't stand to live alone. Retaliation doesn't work - it only causes the tempest to grow more severe and dangerous. Apathy doesn't work unless we enjoy drifting blinding across the oceans of life with no course or destination.

CHOICES - just our personal choices. That may sound over-simplified, but we choose our attitudes, emotions and which feelings we surrender to. I want to blame someone, I want others to feel responsible because I feel bad - doesn't work. At least todayI am choosing to sail confidently through troubled waters and find contenment that I can still navigate my ship though storms raise up around me.